Suggestions for getting to know Paul
without dying in the process:
1) Stock a lot of food, especially cheese, when he's visiting. 2) Make sure that none of it is vegetarian bratwurst. 3) Let him win at Chess. 4) Don't admit that Chewbaca wasn't your favorite Star Wars character. 5) If he wants your boyfriend / girlfriend / mom / droid, don't argue. You'll get them back slightly damp and a little gnawed, as long as they didn't try to fight back... 6) He will break your futon and your bed and possibly also your couch. Just deal with it and for the love of all things holy, do NOT try to make him feel guilty about it. You'll succeed, but it won't seem any better for some reason. 7) Avoid talking about how Catholicism changed your life for the better. 8) Do NOT tickle. You've been warned. Being kicked in the head by a nearly 7 foot wookie is not the way you want to go. 9) Never, ever get in his way when Skinny Puppy is playing unless you have him handcuffed to a wall, and even then you should give him about a 12-foot berth. 10) Don't be a psycho. 11) Don't mess with him when he's DJing... |